Life
by Shirohikari
Summary: AU Naruto is a high school kid trying to get through life. But sometimes, with the kind of life he has, it's tough.
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1

- Standard disclaimer applies -

--- First Naruto fic. Naruto may seem out of character. I am in adamant conviction that Naruto is a hell lot cleverer than he acts. If I had a life like Naruto, this is what I would have turned out to be. As it is, I'm a shy unassuming gentle quiet teenager. –Ignores furious gagging in the background- Saa…enjoy ---

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I have always been the hyper kid; the boisterous, insanely loud one in everything I did, wherever I went. Some put it down as a case of mental instability. Some said it was my lack of parental guidance, due to the lack of parents; save for a guardian. Still more claimed that it was a desperate plea, to the social crowd, for undivided attention.

I never figured it out myself.

But what I did figure out was that it took too much time and energy. I toned it down, effectively dropping the title of 'Class Clown'. Now, I am referred to as the weird dude with baggy clothes who chews gum and slinks around the background of the classroom, sticking my butt to the backseat of every class.

You can't please everyone.

My school is pretty typical. You've got the drop dead gorgeous dude whom majority of the school population were raving crazy over. That would be Uchiha Sasuke. You got the ultimate cheerleader kind of girl who had guys prostrating themselves at her feet and she ignores them, instead attaching herself fixedly to one arm of said gorgeous dude, in effect becoming a personified leech, proclaiming herself as unofficial girlfriend…Haruno Sakura.

You got the arch-nemesis of the unofficial girlfriend – Ino. The genius who broke the IQ scales, who spent his time snoozing in class and staring at clouds, and was an all round bum, a.k.a. Shikamaru. You got various shoddy characters that appeared sooner or later.

I was, if you had not noticed yet, some kind of social outcast who, supposedly, had no life whatsoever. I guess I drew unwanted glares and catty remarks like a flame draws moths; or like Sasuke drew rabid fangirls who literally frothed at the mouth.

Along with my social position came the other social outcasts. Shikarmaru. Gaara. Neji. Hinata. Shino.

Mostly though, it was just Gaara. I don't know how to do that guy justice. He sports flaming red hair, piercing green eyes, the Chinese character 'ai' above his non-existent eyebrows on the left, and he has an unnatural obsession with sand. You do the maths.

Eighty percent of the school population, including members of the teaching and non-teaching staff were terrified of him. Another nineteen percent wanted nothing more than to murder him. The remaining one percent considered him our friend, based on that fact alone, we were considered screwed.

I feel for the guy though. His parents have been trying to admit him into a mental institution, a drug rehab, or better still (for them), the prison - about as far back as the memory allows to be stretched

And just as I have completed bringing you up to date on my social status and of those affecting my life, I've managed to walk from home to school locker. Gaara walks up to me as I replace and retrieve books according to my timetable. Education is important.

His green eyes glint maliciously.

"Hello Gaara. What a blessed morning, don't ya think?"

He growls. I must say, Gaara has one of the best social skills I have come across. Note the underlying (okay, so not so underlying) sarcasm. I slam my locker shut and follow him round the side of the building, behind the cafeteria, but in full view of anyone using the field, which the back opens up to. It is separated by a wall.

The field was your typical grassy football kind, where sweaty jocks with IQs just under their belt sizes all chase after one ball, united in the single minded aim to achieve it, or at least hinder a member from the opposite team unconscious.

But now, it is five minutes till homeroom, till the first bell that signifies the commencing of torture, blasting our auditory nerves along the way, and there is no one here. No one, save for Shikamaru, Gaara and me.

"Why are you guys doing this again?" Shikamaru drawls from where he lies on his back, gazing into space.

"It's an anti-heaping device." I explain patiently.

"Ahh…"

Gaara hands me an orange spray can. He knows he so well.

The bell rings and is ignored. Ten minutes later, a disturbingly familiar voice travels over the requiring the presence of the troupe of lost sheep wandering amidst the colossal brick building. Gaara and I finish up and head for the principal's office.

The secretary takes one look at us, shakes her head tragically, and announces that we can go in. We are received immediately. This is first class treatment.

Inside, it is your typical principal office, with some piles of paper and books on the desk to project the illusion of having something to do. Besides the desk and filing cabinets I

am willing to bet are half empty.

There are three seats placed out for us. Do I sense a hint of accustom?

The principal, Tsunade, is a real fox for her age, with wide set eyes and smooth skin and a voluptuous body. I wonder about the cost of plastic surgery and how she can afford it on her measly pay. She observes us from the other side of the mahogany table with calculating eyes. Her head is rested comfortably on carefully folded hands; and apart from the swivel of her eyes, there was no other movement.

I give her a charming smile, while Gaara shoots her a glare. Shikamaru ignores all of us, sighing heavily in resignation as he slinks down comfortably into one of the chairs provided.

I am first to break the suffocating silence. Really, was this the way to treat guests?

"Tsunade-baba! Long time no see. What troubles you, to before you your three most beloved students?"

She straightens up and sends me an intimidating glare, but not before the ends of her mouth twitch upwards in appreciation.

"You brat. First day of school and you sought to give me trouble."

I am offended.

"Old hag, you break my heart. I place my sparkling clean reputation as a good and caring citizen at stake to gain a few minutes in your company and this is what I get? A cold shoulder?"

Besides me, Gaara lets out an undignified snort. I ignore him.

Tsunade barks out a laugh.

"Naruto what did you do this time." Always so brisk and businesslike.

"I was expressing my individuality through creativity, and unadulterated will power to defy the odds and ramifications."

She blanches. "You expect me to believe this crap?"

"The art teacher does."

"Gai-sensei?"

"I was finding myself. The inner me."

"Well, find it somewhere else."

"Pardon me, but isn't strengthening and moulding a student's character, another alternative for 'finding oneself' one of the cornerstones that assist in the concrete makeup of our present educational system?

"Strengthening moulding a student's character for the better is."

"Details, details."

"What are you trying to say Naruto?"

"Gee…a chance at free expression of what I perceive. I don't know how to thank you. "

"Naruto…" her voice has dropped to a warning note.

"2 hours. One day. Haku."

"3 hours a week. Iruka."

I let out a gasp.

"Be still, my heart. Tsunade-baba, how could you do this to me? You have increased my punishment since I last attended school!"

She gives a small shrug of the shoulders, nonchalant.

"You deserve me, if you want to know the truth."

"2 hours, 2 days, Kakashi."

"3 hours, four days, Gai-sensei."

On my left, Shikamaru releases an empathic sigh.

"2 hours, 3 days. Jiraiya."

"2 hors, four days, Genma."

"Deal."

"Thank goodness."

I take her hand and shake it, giving her a broad grin.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you. And now, I must take leave, for physical education beckons. As does biology, arithmetic and other little delights. You have made me see the error of my ways! God bless you."

She gives me a rueful grin.

"Get on with it."

I stand to leave, and Gaara and Shikamaru follow. I am the last to exit, and as I stand at the door, the temptation is too great. My efforts to resist to are futile. I turn back to face her.

"Just tell me one thing."

She motions for me to continue.

"Didn't last night mean anything to you?"

I slam the door as something heavy thuds against it. Probably my disciplinary record folder. Gaara stares at me dispassionately, and Shikamaru sighs once more, shaking his head slowly. I beam.

Sometimes, you wake up in the morning and stumble over laundry a month old, and then find out that there's no more ramen left and you wonder why the hell you even bother.

And sometimes, people like Tsunade baba provide that reason.

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- - - If next to no one's reading this, I'm going to take down the story. - - -

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	2. 11

OHG…I am in shock that people actually reviewed. With a summary like that, I would have been hesitant.

Elusia - Hehe...sorry. I don't really know about Tenten. If you could give me an idea, maybe I could fit it in.

Fysh – Sorry! Haha. But glad you like the story. Cute name.

XoniNewcomer - Yes, you sure do have an over imagination. I was laughing really hard. And I don't even know what rastas and reggae music is! -

chibi-tsurara-59 – It was referring to how much detention the three of them would do, and who would be the teacher over seeing them. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

Dragon'sSword - 'Last night' implies that he slept with her. So it means like even though he slept with her, she is still so mean to give him detention. And so he's like, asking her if last night meant anything. Haha. Don't gag.

Thanks a whole lot to the rest of you for reviewing – licorice, DarkWarrior188 and Fox Moonshadow. This chapter is totally for you guys. Special thanks to Tracy-kin, chibi-sasuke309, Grimdownsizer, Myionwolf and hi for being my first5 reviewers. Thanks so much.

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Chapter 2

- Standard disclaimer applies -

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"Detention on the first day of school straight back from Spring break? Into a mere say, 15 minutes?" Neji raises an eyebrow and sighs empathically, shaking his head. Sometimes, he reminds me of Shikamaru.

Of average height, blatantly the most conspicuous asset of Neji's physical features were his eyes. So pale a shade of grey it was considered by many white, his eyes were thought to be 'freakish', and his mild-mannered cousin, Hinata, shared the same fate.

"Yo." Shikamaru comes up from behind, sliding in behind me.

It was lunch break, and I had survived half the day already. Three cheers for small miracles.

Shikamaru pushed his tray in front of him and promptly expires on the table. I poke the side of his head and receive a snore. Satisfied, I was about to reach out and steal his blueberry muffin when his hand clams over mine in a tenacious grip.

"I thought you were asleep?"

"And I thought you had 'learned the error of your ways'?"

"Ahh…"

A blueberry muffin landed on my tray. I glance up in surprise.

"Na-naruto-kun…y-you ccan have m-mine if you w-want." Hinata blushes, settling her tray in front of mine and taking a seat beside her cousin.

"Gee, thanks." I smile warmly at her, and her blush reddens. I am about to bite into the muffin when it disappears from my hands. Neji glares at me, returning the muffin to Hinata's tray.

"Keep away from her food Uzumaki. She needs to eat more, as it is."

"N-no, really." A piercing glare from Neji makes Hinata drop her head to the desk and continue eating in silence.

Gee, talk about looking out for your family members. I swear the Hyuugas are the weirdest family I have ever seen.

"So Hinata, what's new?" Her eyed lit up.

Hinata was a kind hearted soul who was always looking out for the good of mankind. As a result, she was always immersing herself in geographical facts and mourning the slow but certain murdering of planet Earth. And, amazingly, she was able to string a sentence together without a single stammer when she was talking about this sort of stuff only.

"Due to widespread deforestation and rapid erosion, 23 billion tons of tillable soil is being washed into the sea every single year. We are probably headed for a world wide famine that could eliminate as many as a billion people off the face of the earth."

"Uh huh." I say. She whacks me on the head, hard.

"Ow!" Normally, she would not even dare to raise her voice at me, but when it comes to protecting the interests of man, she becomes _defensive_.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Shikamaru mumbled, raising his head to eat.

"Gee…thanks Shikamaru. But maybe you could have told me that sooner?"

He shrugs.

"Where's Shino?" he asks through a mouthful of potato.

"Feeding his dung beetle in the science lab."

Of course. How could I forget the joys of having a pet?

Neji rolls his non existent pupils and shoots a glare at me, "Care to enlighten me as to why you had to decorate the side wall?"

"It's an anti-heaping measure."

Gaara comes in from behind and takes the seat to my right.

"Anti-heaping measure?"

"Yup. You see, as humans, there is a certain amount of obedience in us. But there is also a certain amount of defiance. This rebellious nature I am certain is present in all of us. And merely because we are more advanced than any other wildlife, we use our brains at a more efficient degree, we live in houses, we have tools, we have jobs, hell, we even have family planning.

"But due to this technology, a false perception of superiority has sprouted from the depths of our mind, and we become full of ourselves. It is due to this need to prove that we are in fact better than others, that this certain defiance and stubbornness arouses from. There is nothing we can do to stop it. We are like putty in its hands, slaves to its commands, at its every single last miniscule whim."

"So basically, what you are saying is that you can't help misbehaving. Your innate sense of supremacy compels you to spray paint the back wall of our cafeteria with a message that when Tsunada sees it, would demand your head on a silver platter?"

"Basically…yes. My, Shikamaru, you are indeed exceedingly intelligent." I pat his head as a reward, and he groans, swatting my hand away.

Neji frowns. "I fail to see the connection between anti-heaping measure and the feeling of supremacy."

"We are all alike in the sense that the ultimate goal of our pure existence is to separate oneself from each other and best one another. Thus – anti-heaping measure. Haven't you heard of the phrase 'we are all unique'? The irony applies. We all want to _be_ unique. In doing so, we become similar."

Shikamaru raises his eyes to the heavens as if to say, _why me_?

"And your point is…" Neji is persistent.

"My point is that to be truly different, we have to go about the process a different way. While all others are being exceedingly good, we become bad. As more people try the 'decent alternative', it would be easier to succeed in a different field."

"…Right. Naruto, have I told you how screwed your so called logic is?" Neji asks, frowning.

"Ano…Naruto, you can't use spray cans. They release greenhouse gas into the atmosphere."

I am lost for words. If Hinata does not make it to heaven, there is no hope for the rest of us.

There is a distracted yell from outside. It seems as though the pupils have found their newly decorated school wall, compliments of Gaara and moi. No need to clap, seriously.

Neji pins me down with a glare.

"What exactly is on the wall?"

I shrug, but can barely suppress the grin, threatening to break out into a mega-watt smile.

"Just…words, and a picture."

Neji raises an eyebrow.

"Enlighten me."

"The words 'Tsunade the snail' and then, here's the neat part, there' s a huge arrow pointing to a colossal picture of a slimy snail. It's a work of art."

Neji clenches his fist and shakes his head in controlled movements, head bowed.

"Yo, Neji. Are you okay? You seem rather uptight."

Realisation hit home.

"I'm so sorry. You wanted your picture up there right? I'm _such_ a block head. I will go out there and amend it straight after school. I swear –"

A whack to the side of my head stops my tirade.

Shikamaru drawls, "Idiot. Neji wants to kill you."

I love my friends. The support they provide is boundless. Their caring and acts of kindness bring tears to my eyes.

"Oh…."

"W-Who did what?" Hinata ventures hesitantly.

"I did the snail. Gaara, the words."

"What did Shikamaru do?"

"He contemplated the meaning of life while enjoying the cloudscape."

Neji blanches. "And he's doing detention with you knuckle heads?"

He glares at Shikamaru. Since when was Neji this big on righteousness?

Shikamaru shoot shim a defensive look. "It was too tiresome to explain the situation."

"So you'd rather do detention than clear your name?"

"Pretty much, yes."

"That question was rhetorical."

"I know that."

"And so was that statement."

"Uh huh."

"Remind me why I hang out with you guys?"

"Because you love us. C'mon Neji…You know you do." I offer a grin.

He twitches. He grabs his tray and disappears from view.

I am about to comment, when I catch sight of Iruka.

"NARUTO!"

Iruka, my beloved guardian, is an absolute god sent. He is kind, never finding it in his heart to deny any one something within his means to give. He is caring, and often overly protective of me. He goes beyond the call of duty, especially when lending a helping hand. To sun things up, he is total softie.

But when he gets mad, and I mean mad, giants quake under their beds; vicious German shepherd guard dogs trained to rip out innards cower in fear. Good men have been known to go deaf. When Iruka is mad, he is scary. Scarily terrifying; the kind that sends a silver blade of fear shooting your spine and make you cold all over.

But right about now, the scariest thing was that he was heading right over here.

I beat it.

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--- Hey. What about GaaraNaruto? ---

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